Journalists for a laugh!---jokes

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.
"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.
After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?”

Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the editor's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch" replied the editor, "the deadline for tomorrow's newspaper is in about ten hours.

A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"

Source: workjoke.com

History of Chittagong

History

Chittagong has been a seaport since ancient times. Arabs traded with the port from the 9th Century AD. The Chittagong region was under the Vesali kingdom of Arakan during the Sixth to Eighth Centuries and under the Mrauk U kingdom of Arakan in the 16th and 17th Centuries. Chittagong had been under the control of the Arakanese or kings of Arakan for hundreds of years. An account by historian Lama Taranath has revealed a Buddhist king Gopichandra had his capital at Chittagong in the Tenth Century, and according to Tibetan tradition, Chittagong was the birthplace of the Buddhist Tantric Tilayogi, who lived and worked in the Tenth Century.^[7] In the Fourteenth Century, explorer Ibn Battuta passed through Chittagong during his travels.
Sultan Fakruddin Mubarak Shah of Sonargaon conquered Chittagong in 1340. Sultan Giasuddin Mubarak Shah constructed a highway from Chittagong to Chandpur and ordered the construction of many lavish mosques and tombs. After the defeat of Mahmud Shah in the hands of Sher Shah in 1538, the Arakanese regained Chittagong. From this time onward, until its conquest by the Mughals, this region was under the control of the Portuguese and the Magh pirates (a notorious name for Arakanese) for 128 years.^[7]

Ships moored off Chittagong in the late 1820s.

The Mughal Commandar Bujurg Umed Khan expelled the Arakanese from the area in 1666 and established Mughal rule there. They renamed Chittagong as Islamabad. The city was occupied by Burmese troops shortly in First Anglo-Burmese War in 1824 and the British increasingly grew active in the region and it fell under the British Empire. The people of Chittagong made several attempts to gain independence from the British, notably on November 18, 1857 when the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th companies of the 34th Bengal Infantry Regiment stationed at Chittagong rose in rebellion and released all the prisoners from jail but were suppressed by the Kuki scouts and the Sylhet Light Infantry (10th Gurkha Rifles).^[7]
Chittaong grew at the beginning of the twentieth century after the partition of Bengal and the creation of the province of Eastern Bengal and Assam. The construction of the Assam Bengal Railway to Chittagong facilitated further development of economic growth in the city. However revolutionaries and opposition movements grew during this time. Many people in Chittagong supported Khilafat and Non-Cooperation movements received news of communal riots and massacres of Muslims in Calcutta and other parts of India in 1925.^[7] Terrorism was never far from the surface and one group of Hindu youths under the leadership of Masterda Surya Sen formed the secret Republican Army and set up training camps were youths to train in terrorist tactics against the British. During this time the leaders of the women revolutionaries were Pritilata Waddedar, Bina Das, Lila Ray, Kalpana Dutta, and others The hostility culminated on the night of 18 April 1930, when the revolutionaries led by Surya Sen looted the Armoury and the Magazine House of the Auxiliary Corps, and occupied the telephone and telegraph offices, thus disconnecting all communications.^[7] However the rebellion was suppressed and Sen was arrested and hanged 20 February 1933, ending terrorist activities in Chittagong.

US Navy sailors in Chittagong, 1944

During World War II, the British used Chittagong as an important military base. Frequent bombardment by the Japanese air force,^{[clarification needed]} notably in April 1942 and again on 20 and 24 December 1942, resulted in military relocation to Comilla. Neverless the war had a major negative impact on the city, with the growth of refugees and uneveness in fortune, reflected in the Great Famine of 1943.^[7]
After the war, rapid industrialisation and development saw the city grow beyond its previous municipal area, particularly in the southwest up to Patenga, where Chittagong International Airport is now located.^[7] The former villages of Halishahar, Askarabad and Agrabad became intergrated into the city. The Chittagong Development Authority (CDA) was established by the government of East Pakistan in 1959 to manage this growth and drew up a master plan to be reviewed every five years to plan its urban development. By 1961 the CDA had drawn up a regional plan covering an area of 212 sq mi (549 km²) and a master plan covering an area of 100 sq mi (259 km²).^[7] Over the decades, especially after the losses of 1971, the master plan developed into several specific areas of management, including the Multi-Sectoral Investment Plan plan for drainage and flood-protection of Chittagong City and a plan for easing the traffic congestion and making the system more efficient.^[7]

The port was blocked during the liberation war

During the Bangladesh War of Liberation of 1971, Chittagong suffered massive losses in people and buildings given that they denied the occupation army access to the port. The first public announcement ever made over the radio declaring Independence and the start of the War of Liberation was also made in in the city, from the Swadhin Bangla Betar Kendra located at Kalurghat, Chittagong. Following the independence of Bangladesh the city underwent a major rehabilitation and reconstruction programme and retained its functioning as a port within a few years.^[7]

[edit] Geography and climate

Under the Köppen climate classification, Chittagong has a tropical monsoon climate. Chittagong is located at 22°22′0″N 91°48′0″E / 22.366667°N 91.8°E / 22.366667; 91.8 on the banks of the Karnaphuli River. It has a total area of 157 square kilometers (61 sq mi). The city is known for its vast hilly terrain that stretches throughout the entire district and eventually into India. Chittagong does not contain any natural lakes, but it does have artificial lakes.

Amateur Radio / What They Actually Do

Amateur Radio is not only a grand and glorious hobby, Radio Amateurs serve people through providing emergency communication systems; especially in natural disasters or in other emergencies as a voluntary, noncommercial communication service. Amateur Radio experimentation is yet another reason many people become part of this self-disciplined group of trained operators, technicians and electronics experts are the assets to a country. Hams pursue their hobby purely for personal enrichment in technical and operating proficiency, without any consideration for payments. Below are some examples.

1. During any natural disaster, Amateur Radio operators set up and operate organized local and long-distance communication, as backup of the Government and emergency official communication system, as well as non-commercial communication for private citizens affected from the disasters. Amateur Radio operators are most likely to be active after disasters that damage regular lines of communication due to power outages and/or destruction of the telephone infrastructure.

2. Talk around the world - With HF radios hams can talk to other hams in literally any part of the globe. They can talk from the top of the mountain to deep sea.

3. Talk around town - With small portable VHF and UHF transceivers hams enjoy extremely reliable communications within their local community. They can talk with a minimum range of 20 Kilo Meters up to 500 Kilo Meters by using multiple repeaters.

4. QRP - Communicating with "very low power" is a challenge that many hams enjoy. QRP is usually practiced on the HF bands.

5. Packet Radio - The internet over ham radio? Not really ... but ham radio operators enjoy a digital network of     their own, all without wires!

6. Amateur Television - It's just like real television because it is real television. Slow Scan TV Send pictures around the world for little or no cost.

7. Contests - They can put their radio operating skills up against other hams and teams of hams.

8. Hopefully they will use their radio less for calling the fireman, the police, and emergency road-side assistance, 911 and other telephone-linked services.

9. Emergency and other volunteer services - Floods, hurricanes, mudslides, earthquakes, ice storms ... when ever normal communications go out, hams are ready to use their radios to provide emergency communication services to their communities.

10. Satellite Communications - Hams have their own satellites. Amateur's satellites are easy to Use. Even Hams can talk with the astronauts of ISS (International Space Station or Alpha Station) and they used to talk with MIR station on the space.

11. Emergency Traffic Handling - "Ham Telegrams" are used to send messages to people around the world at no cost to the sender or the recipient; all done by ham radio operators Volunteering their time and resources.

12. Emergency Medical Support - Ham Medical Team formed with some Doctors who are HAM. This kind of team work on any natural disaster and urban incident.

This unique mixture of fun, convenience and public service is the distinguishing characteristics of Amateur Radio. Although people get involved in amateur radio for many reasons, they all in common have the basic knowledge of radio technologies, regulations and operating principles, which is demonstrated through passing an examination leading to a certificate of proficiency. And through getting an authorization to operate on radio frequencies known as the "Amateur Bands." Radio amateur reserve these bands for use at intervals from just above the AM broadcast band all the way up into high microwave frequencies.
Hams exchange pictures of each other using television. Some also like to work on electronic circuits, build their own radios and Antennas. Anyone above the age of 12, no matter gender or Physical ability and educational qualification can become a Ham. There are Actors, Politicians, Astronauts, Engineers, Doctors, Bankers, Pilots, Sailors, Kings and Queens are Hams.
Hams also swing into action during the emergencies and natural calamities such as cyclone, storm, earthquake, floods and other disasters. Amateur Radio Stations act as the 'SECOND LINE' of communication when existing public or government communication links fail to act.

Hams also assist in sport events like the ASIAD, CAR RALLY and many other CAR AND MOTORCYCLE rallies taking place throughout the year. They provide vital communication links from the remote rally routes assisting the sports officials and they really enjoying doing it.